Overview Schedule of Couple Counseling at The Couple Zone

The following describes the general process of couple counseling at The Couple Zone. This format changes as needed for issues such as trauma, affairs and others.

Some couples want homework assignments to supplement in-session work. For those that do, we’ve written Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies. This text follows the stages of therapy described below, with weekly exercises. Your counselor has it for a discounted price. It is also available online at Amazon.com etc.

The following normally takes 12-15 weekly sessions, depending on level of couple distress, commitment to the relationship, and to counseling itself.


Stage 1 We’re Caught in a Trap


  • Understanding you own unique arguing cycle
  • Attacking, Blaming, and Defending
  • Who Pursues/Who Withdraws
  • Finding the soft emotions that are rarely felt, much less shown
  • Calming the arguing cycle, coming closer


Stage 2 Knowing Me, Knowing You – There is Something We Can Do


  • Understanding the more withdrawing partner
    • Recognizing your own fear & needs
    • Reaching out in new ways
  • Understanding the more pursuing partner
    • Recognizing your own fears & needs
    • Reaching out in new ways


Stage 3 Facing the Future Together


  • Continuing to open up to each other
  • Dealing with missteps as they happen
  • Tackling problematic issues as a team